First Seizure
The day I had my first seizure I was
taking a seminary class. There were about 12 other people in the class. I say
there were about 12 because I didn’t
know them very well. The class was held in the Chinese city of Kunming.
I don’t remember the seizure
happening. I have notes in my book from that morning, so I know I was there.
Those memories are gone.
I woke up on the floor. People were
hurrying around me. One of my classmates was kneeling over me. That’s when I
learned that she was a nurse. She kept telling me not to move.
Someone told me that an ambulance was
coming. I remembered wondering what I would read to pass the time in the
hospital.
The ambulance people strapped me to a
stretcher. Because the elevator was too small they carried the stretcher down
12 stories. Many buildings are tall in China.
When the stretcher reached the
street, I saw a street food worker selling food next to the ambulance. I
realized that other people were still doing things even though I had had a
seizure.
I don’t remember the drive to the
hospital.
I remember spending the night in the
hospital. I remember having nothing to read. I stared at the ceiling sometimes.
I stared at the elevated sides of my bed sometimes. My bed felt like a baby’s
crib, except much bigger.
One of the other students stayed the
night in the hospital with me. They did this even though we didn’t know each
other. He was also American…Chinese-American, so he could speak Chinese.
Today, when I am writing this, it has
been 7 years and six months since my first seizure. In order to prevent future
seizures I take Keppra. Keppra is the 92nd most prescribed
medication in the United States. I don’t know how many people take it in China.
Later a doctor told me my seizure was
a front temporal lobe type. People who experience those kind of seizures often
have déjà vu beforehand. When the doctor told me that I remembered having lots
of déjà vu the year leading up to my seizure. That memory is real. Not déjà vu.
I have never had another seizure, but
the doctors want me to keep taking Keppra. They say the Keppra is what is
keeping me healed.
Recently I was looking through the
notes I took the morning of my seizure (the notes I don’t remember). On one of
the pages this is what I wrote:
In
Luke 9:42 Jesus healed a boy with epilepsy. “You really are an unbelieving and
difficult people,” replied Jesus. “How long must I be with you?”
Zary
Fekete
Zary Fekete has worked as a teacher in Hungary, Moldova, Romania, China, and Cambodia. She currently lives and works as a writer in Minnesota. Some places she has been published are Goats Milk Mag, JMWW Journal, Bethlehem Writers Roundtable, and Zoetic Press. She enjoys reading, podcasts, and long, slow films. Twitter: @ZaryFekete