No Cure I'm Queer

 

No cure I'm queer

 

Dead,

 sleeping deeply underneath a stone

I'm dead,

Born with limps,

bracket with length,

Buried without columns.

 

Why medic, why cure

why named psychological error?

Not me.

it's you,

It's you psycho!

swelled up,

Pressed up

with filthy racist shames.

It's you who need cure.

 

You named me transgender,

I named me genderless.

You named me trans women,

I named me women.

 

I cry, I scream, I weep

Ask me why

cause I’m stuck!

Nobody asked.

Nobody cared.

I'm stuck.

 

Ask me why I born.

Asked me why I'm abnormal.

I'm normally normal

I’m normally normal You filthy,

But, not for your eyes.

 

Perfect never defines me

Since I'm blurry, filled with 7

I'm violet, I'm  indigo, I'm blue

I’m all the rainbow.

Yes, I’m queer. queer defines me.

 

Yes, I need cure, I need change.

From this skin, from this organ,

From this body.

I needs change;

So, I tried to change.

 

saw my savior

white coat, masked face

Greeted me with sheepy curve.

seen my villain

White coat, masked face

Treated me with foxy curve.

 

Took pain for gain.

To wipe fatigues from ages.

Yes I act selfish,

Selfish for a women.

For a woman in me

 

Chopped me, sliced me.

I laid off passionless,

I paid off penniless.

My blood my sweat,

Oh, bloody hell!

took it all by a broody heel!

Laid as Guinea

for an imbecilic.

My fault.

My selfish fault

 

I quit,

Yes, I quit,

All the pain, all the vein

I Left.

Second me, stand for me

Or;

Slur me, slagoff me

Choose your choice,

my no voice!

I sleep happily,

underneath the stone,

My queer tombstone.

Cause they never talked!

 and they never asked!

 

- in memories of ananyah kumari alex

Neethu Mary Thampi

Kollam, India

No cure I'm Queer" is a poem written by me on behalf of an unfortunate incident happened in India. 

 Ananyah Kumari Alex, state’s first transwoman radio jockey and first transgender candidate to contest in state assembly  found dead in her apartment on Tuesday evening on  20th July 2021. The reason for her suicide was related to the depression she suffered after an unsuccessful sex reassignment surgery. the surgery was conducted by a surgeon who is very famous and well experienced but still the surgery was indeed a failure. she lost most of her body weight, and physical strength. she was not financially well occupied yet she spent huge amount for after care as well as surgery. even her confidence also been lost. after the process she became permanent sick. she cannot stand or sit nor sleep or eat. even though a lots of negotiations the hospital didn't take any responsibility. altogether this incident brought up  many similar incidents from dark. this incident also shows how these people are mistreated. my poem is narrating the emotions of the ananyah what she suffered and the anger she felt towards the society. this also describes neglected feelings of LGBTQ community.